Offer

A few questions about the "rock-like stick" I was offered yesterday morning:

• Define "rock-like." Is this stick created from minerals? Synthetic mineral-like substances?
• Is this stick useful for, say, slaying Philistine giants? What about other instances where I would typically use a rock?
• It sounds like you expect me to pay for this stick--rocks are free. What advantages does the stick have over the rock in these instances?
• What additional things could I do with a rock-like stick that I cannot do with an ordinary stick (which is also free)?
• Does the simplicity of having a single rock-like stick over needing both a stick and rock justify the cost of the newer device?
• Now that I think about it, wouldn't a truly rock-like stick be neither stick nor rock? Am I not signing up for the worst of both worlds?

I love spam.